Jewish to oddor sunteen?

Ever had to communicate with non-native English speakers? Here’s a little something to brighten your weekend…

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): «Morrin. Roon sirbees.»

Guest (G): «Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.»

RS: «Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??»

G: «Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs.»

RS: «Ow July den?»

G: «What??»

RS: «Ow July den?…pryed, boyud, poochd?»

G: «Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.»

RS: «Ow July dee baykem? Crease?»

G: «Crisp will be fine.»

RS: «Hokay. An Sahn toes?»

G: «What?»

RS: «An toes. July Sahn toes?»

G: «I don’t think so.»

RS: «No? Judo wan sahn toes??»

G: «I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes means.»

RS: «Toes! toes!…Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?»

G: «English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.»

RS: «We bodder?»

G: «No…just put the bodder on the side.»

RS: «Wad?»

G: «I mean butter…just put it on the side.»

RS: «Copy?»

G: «Excuse me?»

RS: «Copy…tea…meel?»

G: «Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.»

RS: «One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy….rye??»

G: «Whatever you say.»

RS: «Tenjewberrymuds.»

G: «You’re very welcome.»

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